Fame Is Fleeting, Ya Know?

If Kathy Griffin is on the D-List, then I'm hovering somewhere around V or W. I'm giving myself credit for having published a few books, for maintaining my very own blog and website, and for once appearing on a Game Show Network game show and losing miserably. (No, I won't tell you the name of the show, but if you've ever watched that channel and saw some poor girl looking like a deer caught in  headlights and saying "round head" when the answer was clearly "redhead," um, yeah, that was me.)

I've actually never aspired to be famous, at least not on a Kate Middleton or Oprah level. Okay, it would be pretty awesome to hobnob with the other rich and famous folks, some of whom are just dreamy. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be invited to a party with the likes of James McAvoy (I heart you, James!), Jesse Williams (I heart you sooo much), or the cast of Glee (yes, I'm a die-hard Gleek)... And I'd gladly take a celebrity's bank account balance, and their ability to raise awareness and obscene amounts of money for charities. But the rest they can have. The rest seems like kind of a nightmare. I mean, who can take that kind of scrutiny? That total lack of privacy and pressure to be perfect all the time? Not me.

I still find it a little strange when someone I've never even met before invites me to come speak to a group of kids, some of whom have actually read my books. Even though I've now done seven book signings (including the two that were attended only by my friends and family), I'm pretty shocked when people who aren't blood relatives actually show up to see me. The most recent occurrence was on May 14th at the Montclair Public Library. Thanks to a recommendation from Tonya Johnson, the same woman who invited me to participate in the Watchung Booksellers panel last year, the head librarian, Matilda, asked me come visit as part of their mother/daughter book club. Of course I said yes. But the closer the day came, the more nervous I got. Was I supposed to be entertaining somehow? Should I have prepared a speech, peppered with just the right amount of jokes? Would I be expected to be wise and witty, saying things these girls could take with them for the rest of their lives? More important, what should I wear??? I swear, I don't know how actual celebrities do it. If I have this much angst over a friendly visit to the library, I'd surely have a full-blown panic attack on a red carpet.

But once I got there, I felt kind of silly for being worried about it at all. Matilda welcomed me with the warmest smile, even though I got lost on the way there and ended up arriving right when the event was scheduled to begin. She told me to relax and breathe. She showed my mom and me to the third-floor room where about fifteen people were waiting patiently for my arrival--a bunch of young girls and their mothers, and some teachers and librarians. Tonya was there with her daughter, Bria, and Bria had brought her friend Gina, who I'd met at her birthday party. And my friend Maria was there with her baby. Smiling faces everywhere! I immediately apologized for keeping them waiting and told them about the evil GPS that had nearly sent me to Newark. They all laughed, and almost instantly I felt like I was among friends.

I started by telling them a little bit about myself. (Right away I got a "Me too!" from one of the girls, Jayla, when I said that I was born in the Bronx.) Then I did a short reading and chose Jayla to take the first quiz in the book. In case you haven't read Your Life, but Better yet, the book begins with a  girl who is at the mall with her friends being approached by a model scout who offers her the chance to be in a photo shoot. The first quiz is meant to determine if you will go for it or not. When I asked another girl in the audience if she would try to be a model if given the chance, she totally surprised me by saying, "No." When I asked why, she said, "Because fame is fleeting, ya know?"

Wow! Not the answer I'd expect from anyone, let alone a nine- or ten-year-old girl. Everyone laughed, but I think we were all impressed. How refreshing to find a young girl who recognized that fame was not the be all, end all of existence. I have nothing against models, and I can't say that if I were a foot taller and few dress sizes smaller that I wouldn't be one of those America's Next Top Model hopefuls, begging Tyra for a chance at the big time. But I don't think the message of some of these shows is getting through in quite the way they intended. I heard once that there was a teenage girl who got pregnant on purpose in hopes of being cast on an MTV show about teen moms. How unbelievably sad! I thought. Did this teenager really think that fifteen minutes of fame was worth a lifetime responsibility that she most likely wasn't ready for? Or had she simply not thought beyond the thrill of seeing her face on TV? In an age when the more outrageous your behavior, the more likely you are to score a reality show, I can understand why kids might be confused. The message seems to be that fame is the most important thing in life and you should try to achieve it by any means necessary. So it was nice to hear a kid acknowledge that while fame might be nice, it can also be brief and there are more lasting goals to shoot for.

For the next half hour or so, I signed books for the kids and talked to the adults about possible future events. One girl hugged me and thanked me for coming. And we all took pictures together. If this is what being on the V or W list is like, it suits me just fine.

I don't remember why I had that look on my face. 

Matilda, Bria, and Gina getting their snack on 

Me signing a book for Maura

Most of the people who attended. The one who told me that fame is fleeting
is on the left in the green striped shirt. 

Baby Aida. Isn't she a cutie? Look out, Angelina Jolie!

Matilda, one of the nicest librarians I've ever met. 

Matilda and me. I'm holding the flyer she had made for the event. 

My mom, me, my friend Maria, and the adorable Aida

Career Day

Once, when I was a junior in college, a fellow student asked me what I was majoring in. When I said, "Creative writing," she tilted her head and looked at me with these big, sorrowful eyes, as if I had just told her my dog had died.

"Aw, you're going to be homeless," she said. What? "I mean, what are you going to do with that?" she continued. She was a psych major, secure in the belief that there would be a million and one job offers lined up for her once she finished grad school. (Not necessarily true, by the way.)

"What do you mean?" I countered. "I can do lots of things with that."

She eyed me skeptically. "Well, I guess you could teach," she said dismissively, "but that's about it." She made a "tsk tsk" sound and patted my hand.

"I'll be just fine," I assured her. And I felt sure that I would be--even though truth be told, I hadn't thought much about my future career beyond "I will write." When I chose my major, I wasn't thinking, This will make me loads of money, or This job is in high demand. I simply thought, This is what I love to do and if someday someone pays me to do it, great. 


All these years later, it gives me great satisfaction to say that I was right. Not only am I being paid to edit other people's books (thanks in part to the skills I picked up as an English major), but I've been hired to write and to simply sit around with other people and be creative. The idea I pitched at the first brainstorming meeting with my editor was well received. Meanwhile, I'm slaving away on a new book. And this past Saturday I was asked to come to the Montclair Public Library to read from one of the Your Life books for their mother/daughter book group. (More on that later. It was sooo much fun.) I've even gotten to teach a class at NYU, all thanks to the "useless" degree in English I received. I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination, but I had the means to take myself to Greece and Prague last summer and to Barbados this past March. Not too shabby in my book. Bottom line, creativity and a love for the written word has not only kept me from winding up on the streets but has allowed me to live a life I actually enjoy.

And I'm not the only one. I now have lots of friends who have taken it one step further and quit their day jobs to fully commit themselves to their art. My friend Jo is making movies. My friend Kanova quit her job at an advertising agency to pursue her Broadway dreams and is now auditioning and performing. My buddy Doug is now a published author and one of his books is being made into a movie! I was recently  on line at the Kelly Cutrone book signing at the BookMark Shoppe with a woman who told me that she had quit her high-powered finance job in order to start her own business that offered makeovers and style tips to women and young girls. She is working on her first book and is happier now than she ever was crunching numbers. The point is, it can happen. There are other roads to success besides becoming a doctor, lawyer, or accountant--not that any of those things are bad things to become. They're great things. They're just not for everyone.

So when my cousin Ines invited me to the school where she works in the Bronx to participate in Career Day (which I'll be on my way to in about an hour), I jumped at the opportunity. I look at it as a chance to tell the kids there who may think there are only five possible careers out there for them--or that going into anything even remotely artistic is at best a long shot, at worst a big waste of time--that that is simply not true. There are a world of careers out there and definitely more than one way to success. And if you're a creative type all hope is not lost! There are ways to follow your passion AND eat three square meals a day. And if you're really lucky, you won't even have to take four part-time jobs to do it.

I don't know what ever became of the girl who told me that I'd end up destitute and on the street. Maybe she became a renowned psychologist with her own private practice. Or maybe she became a circus clown with the Big Apple Circus. Whatever she did, I hope she's learned what I've known for a while now: Do what you love and the money will follow. Hopefully.

Caution: Sick Girl Writing

I held out as long as I could. I made it through I don't even remember how many storms this winter. I shoveled my car out of countless piles of ice-cold snow, some of it finding its way into my coat sleeves. I sat on a ridiculous number of trains next to people who were hacking and coughing and sneezing, almost never covering their mouths to keep their germs to themselves. I have left my umbrella at home, only to find myself running in the rain to the subway station. I've bypassed the OJ in favor of tea. And yet somehow, I never got sick...until now.

Really, I hate to even admit it because it has always seemed to me that once you actually acknowledge a cold, it only gets stronger. Like saying "I'm sick" out loud feeds the cold's power somehow. Well, not admitting it didn't stop me from coughing myself to sleep last night or constantly feeling like I had a lump in my throat. Ah, well. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

I guess I should just be grateful that it's happening now and not next month when things are really going to hit the fan for me. I already told you about the mother/daughter book club I'm doing at the Montclair Public Library on May 14 and the story meetings I'll be doing every two weeks from now on. (I had the first one last week and it went well. I pitched an idea that got pretty good responses. We'll see if it goes anywhere.) Now I've also been asked to participate in Career Day at an elementary school in the Bronx on May 18. And then there's the following week...

I assume you guys have heard of American Idol, yes? Well, guess who's going to the finale? THIS GIRL! I actually won two tickets (including airfare and hotel) to the finale shows on May 24 and 25 in Los Angeles. Did I or did I not tell you in an earlier post that I win stuff like this all the time? Seriously. I think the only reason I haven't won the lottery yet is because I hardly ever play. And believe it or not, this isn't even the first time I won a free ticket to L.A. When I was in fourth grade I entered a United Negro College Fund essay contest and won two tickets to anywhere in the world that TWA flies. Anywhere in the WORLD! Of course, if I won that today, I'd be off to Australia or New Zealand or Japan or something. But back then, I had just moved to New York from Los Angeles and had never even gotten to say good-bye to my friends. I was 9 years old and homesick. So Los Angeles it was. My dad came with me, and later on my mom had to go to L.A. for work, and we were all there at the same time. We had so much fun going to Venice Beach, Sea World, Disneyland, our old neighborhood... The only thing missing was my brother. So this time I'm taking my brother with me.

By the way, I'm really hoping one of the ladies wins it this year. I'm pulling for Haley or Lauren. Although I wouldn't be too upset if Casey took it home either. And how is it that they're letting Scotty get away with singing a country song every single week? I'm just saying. That would never fly if Simon was still around.

But I digress... I'll be in Los Angeles for five days. As you can see, it'll be a busy, busy couple of months for me, so you may not hear from me much, but I'll try.

In the meantime, send me any and all advice you can give me for that book club thing. It'll be my biggest crowd yet, and I'm nervous. Gulp. So tell me what you would want to talk to me about if we were in a Your Life, but... book club together. Also, congrats to the three winners of my books in Princess Bookie's Contest Craze. It's so nice to know that I've got fans in Texas and California. You'll receive your prizes soon!

All right, I'm off to my parents' house. I'm hoping they'll feed me and give me orange juice and a warm blanket. You're never too old to be babied when you're sick, am I right?

Long Time, No See

Hey, everybody! Once again, sorry for being such a stranger. But I have good reasons, I swear.

For starters, I've been waaay too busy reading the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. Oh my God, so good! If you haven't read these books yet, get on that immediately. Not since Harry Potter have I read a series of books that I literally could not put down. Fair warning: Steer clear if you're squeamish. It can be pretty violent. Also, don't start reading them if you have something more important to do, like sleep.

Let's see...what else have I been up to? Oh yeah. I went to Barbados! Hey, a girl can only take so much snow and rain and bitter cold before she has to pack her bags and head with some friends to an island paradise for a few days.

Looks like a postcard, right? 

Yours truly in paradise. At this point, I was seriously considering
ditching my life in NY to move here and sell oil paintings by the beach.
Now, if only I knew how to paint...

Flying fish, macaroni pie, rice and peas, and salad at the Oistin's fish fry.
Yum yum yum.

There were a few stray cats who basically lived at the resort where we stayed.
One of them had three little kittens. Look how cute!

Here I am at the little marketplace at Oistin's. The bowl I'm holding is partially
made from the gills of a fish that is native to Barbados. 

This dancer was part of the entertainment at the resort. He is
representing the spirit of life. 

Some delicious banana dessert I had at Pisces Restaurant.

The rest of the time, I spent on the beach, on a catamaran cruise, snorkeling with sea turtles, kayaking, and just generally having a great time with my friends. So yeah, Barbados was amazing. (Okay, so I'm leaving out the part when I almost lost my laptop at the airport, and my friend got stranded in Barbados since she was flying standby, and I left my coat--and house keys--in the hotel room, and we almost missed our flight... But those are just details, details...)

Anyway, as soon as I got back, it was back to the cold, and back to work. (Hey, these trips don't pay for themselves....) 

I'm still spreading the word about the Your Life books. On May 14 they'll be the subject of a mother/daughter book group at the Montclair Public Library. (Thanks to Tonya Johnson, who recommended me to the head librarian there.) And I've been invited to participate in BooksNJ2011--a book festival sponsored by the Paramus Public Library, celebrating books and the readers who love them. It sounds like I may even be on another panel of some kind. I'll give you more details when I have them.  

Also, if you haven't heard about the blogger Princess Bookie's Contest Craze, get over to princessbookie.com right away. She'll be giving away a bunch of books (my own included) to some lucky winners. But the contest ends on April 10, so hurry up! 

Finally, a bit of sad news has lead to some good news: My editor on the Your Life books, Stephanie Elliott, has left Random House. Even though she left because she got a great opportunity, I was sad that she wouldn't be around anymore and we wouldn't be working together. But she invited me to be part of a brainstorming group there to generate ideas for new books and series. Exciting! Not only do I get to do something creative and fun, but I get to work with my friend again. Can't wait. And who knows? It could lead to even more writing opportunities. If there's anything I've learned through this process, it's that you should take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way because you never know what door it might open next. 

Oh, and Samaya, who I met at the Columbia University Bookstore, has actually kept in touch with me. (Hi, Samaya!) 

Well, that pretty much catches us up. I'm off to go work on what really pays the bills around here: proofreading. I've got two books on my desk, and now that I finished The Hunger Games, I can actually concentrate on them! Until next time... 

Hostess with the Mostest

What is a struggling author to do when her book has come out, but no one seems to realize it? Throw a party, of course!

And just in case you think that the publishing company pays for things like that, let me tell you right now that is not the case anymore. A friend of mine asked me once before an author appearance I had in New Jersey if the publishing company was sending me there in a limo. HA!!! That's hilarious. No, I drove myself and paid for my own gas and tolls. I attended a panel discussion of Latina writers a couple of months ago and they spoke about all the challenges they have faced in the publishing business. One of them, who used to be an editor, revealed that the publisher's budget for an author--especially a new, unknown author--is very small. They can spend anywhere from $500 to $5,000 on promoting you. (Most new authors are in that $500 slot, and that includes stamps, labels, envelopes, everything!) And once they've spent that...well, that's pretty much all the promoting they can do. The moral to this story? Authors these days are responsible for their own promotion, and if that means spending some of your own money, so be it.

And so, with promoting my book in mind, I put together a Your Life, but Sweeter launch party on February 4 at Characters NYC, which has a private, spacious back room and the nicest staff ever. Characters provided the mozzarella sticks, buffalo wings, vegetarian spring rolls, sliders, and quesadillas. Dylan's Candy Bar provided the fresh popcorn machine. And Magnolia Bakery provided the "sweet" part of the Your Life, but Sweeter party: an assortment of cookies, brownies, and lemon squares, two dozen cupcakes, and a glorious red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. And I bought big swirly lollipops from a tourist shop on 8th Avenue. My mom helped me out by printing out small copies of the book cover so we could glue them to the lollipops. Everything looked mmm mm good.

And my friends at Mobile Libris once again provided the books. Sharon Preiss herself, who runs the company, came this time to help train her new employee, Casey. As always, they set up a great display, using the poster the Columbia University Bookstore had made for my appearance there last month.

A bunch of my friends and coworkers came out, as well as my wonderful parents. Also in attendance, Tonya and her daughter, Bria (whose birthday party I wrote about in a previous blog). We also had a battle of the cute babies going on. My editor, Stephanie, and her husband, Dan (who took the author photo featured in the books), brought their adorable new daughter, Maggie. My coworker Evan and his wife brought their new little one, Caspia. And my best friend brought her one-year-old, Arielle. Cuteness all over the place, I tell you. (I'll add more pictures later.)

It was a short party, but by the end of the night, I'd sold 37 books, all my guests were loaded up on sugar and popcorn, and everybody had a good time. So was it worth the expense? Without a doubt. It felt great celebrating the books with all these people I care about and who have been so supportive of me and my writing. And to be honest, I'm proud of myself. True, I spent almost all of last year working my tail off, but nights like this make it all worthwhile. Thanks for the love, everybody! 

I also found out some pretty exciting news (at least to me): One of the professors at my alma mater, Penn State-Behrend, contacted me to let me know that she is using Your Life, but Better and Maya & Miguel: My Twin Brother/My Twin Sister as part of the curriculum for her English class. How cool is that? She even invited me to come by the campus to speak to the writing students there. I have also been invited to do a book signing at the Montclair Public Library in New Jersey this April or May. I continue to be amazed how one thing leads to another and another. But I'm still learning about how to get my books out there more. I've been told I have to actually contact schools and ask them to invite me to speak. (Who knew?) And I just entered my first two books to be considered for the NY Book Festival this September. Eh, it's worth a shot, right? Bear with me while I try to get myself off the D-list in the publishing world.  

Have a safe and happy long weekend, everybody. 

An Audience of Two

So how are all of you dealing with this crazy winter? For those of you living somewhere warm, I am jealous. Here in New York, it has been snowy, slushy, rainy, windy, icy, and just plain yuck!

I got a spot in this outdoor lot when I first moved into my building during the summer.
Seemed like a good idea at the time.

OK, this guy was pretty cool. Wish I could take credit for him.

Anyway, it has been COLD! (And that's coming from a girl who spent three years in Erie, PA, during college. I'm talking lake-effect snow, people!) So it wasn't much of a surprise to me that no one showed up to my reading this past Saturday at the Columbia University Bookstore in Manhattan. (Awww...)

But wait, before you go feeling too sorry for me, I hear this is something that happens even to A-list authors, so at least I'm in good company. Besides, I did have some dear fans show up--two to be exact: my mom (naturally) and my friend Camille, who'd come down from Inwood just to support me. The store manager felt bad that there was no audience for me, but I was actually relieved. Even though I've done a few of these now, it's still nerve wracking every time. So I was kind of okay with having my audience of two. :)

However, we wanted my trip there to be worthwhile (we had braved the snow and cold, after all), so Camille brought me every copy of my books they had and I signed each one. While I was doing that, a customer in the store let me know that his daughter, Samaya, wanted to meet me. She lives in California and wants to be a writer when she grows up. (I love that she is in 3rd grade,  the same grade I was in when I decided that I wanted to be a writer.) She asked me how I went from being her age to becoming a published author. I actually get that question a lot. Camille, who is a copy writer by day and a fiction writer by night, and I gave her the following advice:

1. READ! Really, I think there's no better way to learn how to write well then to read everything you can get your hands on and get a feel for how its done. (Samaya is reading the Harry Potter series right now. Excellent choice.)

2. Keep a diary. It's great writing practice. Plus, it helps you remember experiences that you might use later on in your writing. I've kept one since I was 13 years old.

3. Take as many writing classes as you can. It sometimes bothers me that people seem to think writing is easy and anyone can do it. Not true! When I started taking writing classes in high school and college, I realized how much I had to learn: character development, pacing, plot, themes, structure... Natural talent is great, but learning a little technique really makes it shine. I still have a lot to learn and hope to take more classes in the future.

Also, I think it's important to share what you write and get feedback. Don't just hide it away under your mattress. Seeing how somebody reacts to what you've written, and sometimes even hearing criticism, can help you grow as a writer. I may have mentioned this before, but my favorite writing professor in college gave me a C- - - (yes, three minuses) on my first paper, and it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. Until that moment, I thought my writing was perfect. Being told that it wasn't did sting, but in the long run it helped me improve.

And once you feel you have gotten the hang of it, why not try to put your writing out there in any way you can? These days it's a little easier with the Internet. But back in the day (yikes, I was a teenager before the Internet took off), I just entered every writing contest I could, and I sent poems and short stories to literary magazines. I wrote letters to the editor in hopes of being published in the school newspaper. I participated in open mic poetry nights at local cafes and made friends with other people who like to write. (You can learn a lot from other writers and you can share opportunities and information with one another.) The point is, keep writing and sharing your work!

Anyway, after we talked with Samaya  (who is adorable, by the way), we took this picture together and I gave her one of the key chains I'd made.

Me and Samaya at the Columbia U. Bookstore.
January 15, 2011

Samaya, if you're reading this, don't forget to stay in touch and let me know how the writing is going!

So after the signing, my audience of two and I headed to Havana Central and got some lunch. (Yum, yum, and might I add, yum!) If you ever go there, have the corn on the cob. No, seriously. Best thing ever.

Camille and me at Havana Central. 

My mom is the best. Love you, Mom!

So what's next? I've been asked to participate in the Montclair Library's Black History Month celebration on February 26. Should be fun! And of course, I'm still working on my next book, getting the first couple of chapters under way.

At the risk of making this blog post the longest one in history, I have to add one more thing: I was watching BET recently and they had an event called Black Girls Rock, where they honored trailblazers in the community. (It was an amazing show featuring Keisha Coles, Jill Scott, Nia Long, Missy Elliott, and many others.) Anyway, one of the honorees was Adele Taylor, who founded Adele's Literacy Library when she was only 13 years old. Her goal is to get everyone in the world reading. She spends her time traveling around the country, reading to children, donating books, and advocating for literacy in children and adults. She is amazing! I was so impressed with her that I emailed her to tell her so, and decided to donate ten copies of Your Life, but Sweeter, as well as a pile of Random House books that my editor helped me assemble. Adele is such a class act that she responded personally to my email. We now hope to meet the next time she's in New York. (Not that that will be for a while. You see, Adele is also busy attending conferences to promote peace. Love this girl!) If you want to help Adele in her efforts, check out her website: adelesliteracylibrary.org. You can help by donating money, books, or time. Keep up the great work, Adele!

And now, I have to finish packing. My parents and I are off to see my grandparents in Florida today. I'm hoping it will be at least a little bit warmer than it is here in New York! See you when I get back.

I Heart You, PS 22

I just had to tell you guys about my new obsession: the choir of PS 22 in Staten Island, NY. Have you heard these kids sing yet? I just came across them by accident recently, only to find out that they've already been on Oprah, the Today Show, and will soon be performing at the Oscars! They've performed with Queen Latifah, Common, Crowded House...the list goes on.

Anyway, I think they're amazing, and their director, Mr. B., has got to be one of the coolest teachers ever. They sing everything from Passion Pit and The Cure to Jill Scott and Alicia Keys. He's had some soloists in there (I'm talking 10-year-old kids) who have blown me away with their talent. They obviously work hard, and they love what they're doing, and as a result, they are getting some well-deserved recognition.

So I just wanted to use today's blog to put one more spotlight on them and to say how extremely proud I am of all the kids involved. This illustrates for me once again that the arts are SO important in schools. I know that when I was in school, being in the chorus, playing violin, getting to draw and write short stories and poetry--that's the stuff that really made me love school. And teachers like Mr. B make it possible.

Here's a clip of the PS 22 chorus doing Lisztomania by Phoenix--one of my favorite performances of theirs. If you want to see more, check out Mr. B's blog at ps22chorus.blogspot.com.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mZ1zV1l2KQ