Sunday, August 9, 2009

Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law states that whatever can go wrong, will. Sometimes I think Murphy was specifically talking about weddings. The one I was just in was no exception.

Things That Went Wrong:
1. About an hour before I was to pick up Ericka, one of the bridesmaids, to head upstate for the rehearsal ceremony, she accidentally locked herself out of her house and had to drive 40 minutes to pick up a spare set of keys from her sister.

2. Half of the bridal party were late to the rehearsal because one bridesmaid, trying to do a U-turn in the driveway, got stuck in a ditch, blocking the entire driveway. The groom and his ushers had to shove big pieces of wood under one of the wheels to see-saw the car out of the ditch.

3. Number 2 on the list didn't entirely matter since the priest was about 40 minutes late to the rehearsal too.

4. The bride's brother and father missed the entire rehearsal because they were held up in traffic.

5. Traffic on the day of the wedding was so bad, a lot of people missed the whole ceremony.

6. That same traffic made the DJ late to the reception, which almost turned the lovely bride into the dreaded bridezilla. While the cocktail hour went on in silence and the bride fumed, I got on the phone with the DJ and told him to get here...NOW. Meanwhile, the bridal party contemplated putting on an impromptu talent show to kill time or use the few CDs in my parents' car and just play them over and over again.

7. During the rehearsal I was so busy looking around the church that I fell down one of the steps on the way down from the altar. For the rest of the day, everyone kept reminding me not to fall. ("Wait, so you're saying I shouldn't fall during the ceremony? Let me write that down...")

8. The wind was so strong by the house on the day of the wedding that every time somebody opened the door, the bride's veil would go flying along with her carefully done hair. We'd all scream, "SHUT THAT DOOR!!!"

9. The groomsmen's shoes all came in a half size too small and had to be exchanged the morning of the wedding.

10. The day after the wedding, when we were checking out of the hotel, my dad discovered his car had a flat, and we had to buy a new tire on the way home.

Things That Went Right:
1. Everyone in the bridal party was there and dressed on time. (That may sound like nothing, but we're talking about six bridesmaids, six ushers, two brothers, one father of the bride, one mother of the groom, and a bride and groom, people. This was a miracle!)

2. The flowers arrived on time and were lovely, labeled, and ready to go.

3. Nobody got lost on the way to the church.

4. Nobody got stuck in a ditch.

5. Despite it having rained almost every single day this summer, the weather was perfect: a gorgeous 81 degrees with no humidity, no rain, and barely a cloud in the sky.

6. The DJ, afraid of what I might do to him if he didn't show up pronto, put the petal to the metal and got there in record time. He kept us dancing all night.

7. The bride looked beautiful and the dress was a perfect fit. And the groom was handsome and looked like he couldn't wait to get hitched.

8. The best man and I didn't fumble the readings at the church. (Phew!)

9. The food was incredible. (Seriously, garlic shrimp never tasted so good.)

10. Two people who really love each other got married.

There were a lot more things that went right--everyone on both sides of the family got along perfectly, my parents danced all night like they were newlyweds, breakfast at the hotel the next day was delicious, I didn't fall flat on my face in my floor-length dress, even with our fake nails on Ericka and I were able to successfully bustle Maria's dress so that she wouldn't fall flat on her face--but the really important one is number 10.

Congratulations, Maria and Jason!

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